Thursday Thoughts: Giving free advice vs. charging for it (transcript)

What’s up everybody. I’m Shontavia Johnson and this is another episode of The Shontavia Show, where I want to inspire you to build a brand, business and life that you love. It is Thursday and you know what Thursday means. I’ve got thoughts about a bunch of stuff. It is thoughts Thursday. Is thoughts Thursday a thing? I don’t know. I have a lot of stuff to talk about and so on Thursdays if you have questions about things, if I have thoughts I just want to share with you about whatever’s been happening. I’m going to share those on Thursday.

If you have questions you can reach out to me at askshontavia@gmail.com. That’s askshontavia@gmail.com.

So let’s jump into this week’s question, which I’m really actually pretty excited about because it is about how to get out of the friend zone in business. And This is a question I got in my private community.

I mentor people privately outside of the public eye of have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and all of that. If you want to join a head over to shontavia.com, there’s a link there where you can join, but I’ve got a question from a member of that private community named Romiya and I’m going to read it here.

And Romiya says, Hey Shontavia, I’ve spent years giving feedback and more for free because I’m never sure how to steer that conversation from the friend zone. People who know me often reach out and ask to pick my brain or say they have a quick question about something. Usually I end up spending more time on their question than they do asking me. What are some ways I can steer these conversations from free “pick your brain sessions” to paid consulting? Romiya.

All right, so I said, I’m excited about this question because this happens to me a lot, and it is hard.

It is so hard, especially when you’re in a service field like law, like consulting. Because people can just ask you questions, you know, kind of any time. But let’s talk about this. Let’s talk business. So you work hard, you maybe go to school, you maybe get a certification. If nothing else, you’ve been out here grinding, hustling and building your knowledge and expertise. And a lot of this stuff is very expensive, not just in terms of money but in terms of time. And then folks, especially, frankly some of your family and friends, want you to give away everything you’ve learned for free.

And this is tough, right? Because you have to eat, you have to keep your lights on. I don’t know about anybody else, but you know my bills actually have to be paid or I will be homeless. And, I got bills to pay and many people have bills to pay.

So I have some thoughts about, Romiya, how you can get out of the friend zone that I’m going to share right now. Three thoughts really that will help you get out of the friend zone, but keep your friends. All right.

(1) So number one, first thing you have to do, Romiya, and I know a little bit about Romiya’s business because she is in my private community. And I know that she wants to offer services to people in her area of expertise. So the first thing you have to do is create a website, maybe using your name.com or whatever kind of catchy phrase you want to use to create your website. And when you get questions like this, turn those questions into blog posts, turn those questions into live streams, turn those questions into something that you can post on your website and answer, you know, in 750 words, or five minutes, or whatever, and post it on your website.

Then you have a place where you can send people where you are providing some free content. Because you know anybody can visit your website and read that stuff. Because I’m of the opinion, and some people disagree with me, I want to give away some knowledge, right? Like some of this stuff I have inside of me, I think people should just have.

Now obviously I have to eat, and I have to live, so I have to charge money for some things. But building content for free on your website not only will allow you to share with the world broadly, it helps you build trust with people who might ultimately become your clients or customers. If they have questions for you and it’s around the scope of your business, then at some point they may need to hire a professional. And if you’re building trust by providing really good, high quality, free content to folks, then you can start to market and build that trust relationship with potential clients.

So I think that’s one of the first things you can do. It helps you build your personal brand, your personal reputation, cause you’re putting stuff out there. It allows you to not answer the same question a hundred times. I can’t tell y’all how many times I’ve gotten questions about how to get a trademark or copyright or whatever. I just threw short articles or quick videos up on my website answering those questions, so that I can just respond to a person like with the link, “Hey go check out my website. I’ve answered that question for folks.” So that’s the first thing.

(2) And the second component to my question really kind of builds on the first. So creating that website where you can put content and number two actually regularly creating content you can use questions that people ask of you is kind of the foundation.

Stuff people, you know they want to know, but you can also think proactivel. What are the kinds of things I know my potential clients and customers are dealing with, how can I help them start to answer some of those things? What high level advice can I give publicly on my site that builds a brand and provides useful information to people. And I think that’s one of the best things you can do.

You have a branded site, so you have your, your personal brand kind of living there. You’re creating, you know, that high level content on your website, then hopefully sharing it across social media platforms. So even if people aren’t visiting your website, you have stuff out there on social media. So maybe you get less inquiries cause you regularly, or less of the free kind of inquiries, because you’re answering those questions online.

And then people can see, “Oh well she actually has a business around some of this.” And you know, without fail now when you get those kinds of questions, if you send somebody a quick link, they will appreciate it, number one. And you can funnel them into, you know, the rest of your business that sits on your website too.

And you can do this even if you haven’t already written the blog post, or you know, shot the video or done the podcast or whatever yet. So oftentimes like people now reach out to me pretty regularly and many of them have very, very similar questions. So instead of me responding to somebody right away, which you know, I rarely do now just because of the sheer number of emails. But if I don’t already have something up on the site, I will just draft a quick blog post.

It may take a couple of days or whatever, but I’ll create something really quickly, send the person that thing, so they can see, okay, well here’s the high level answer to my question. But, Shontavia obviously charges for, you know, the depth of knowledge that I’m asking for. So I can communicate that without actually saying, Oh, don’t ask me questions unless you’re gonna pay me first. So that’s the second suggestion. Create content, dynamic, good, useful content.

(3) And then number three, send the person to your website. Send the person that link. Say, you know, “here’s a high level general answer” and you can also say, “but if you’d like something more specific, here’s an opportunity for you to work with me to get some more personalized answers to your questions.”

So what I say oftentimes is something like, you know, “here’s a high level of answer to your question. It can put you on the right track. If you want more, visit this link. And you know when you visit this link, you can sign up for a time to speak to me.” And when they visit that link, I use something called Calendly and I’ll post a link in the show notes to Calendly if you’re interested in that. But when you go to sign up for a time with me at Calendly, you cannot do it unless you pay my hourly rate. And so that also illustrates, and I usually say that in the email, Hey, you can sign up via Calendly. Here’s my billable rate for more.

And so that allows me to provide the service, the act of giving knowledge to somebody, because I really think that’s important. And you know, if you want to work with me professionally, here’s the way you can do that.

If it’s something I don’t know though, and now this is where I see a lot of people kind of get tripped up. If it’s something I don’t know and it’s not really that relevant to my business, I don’t waste a lot of time. If it is not part of my vision, if it is not part of my business, I just say to a person, Oh, you know, that’s a great question. That is not really what I do. But thank you for reaching out. I appreciate it. If you, you know, have questions about the things that I do do, here’s where you can find more information.” I do not spend more time Googling and trying to figure out the answer to somebody’s question that is not part of my business. Because they could do that. They could get on Google and look things up. And so I don’t think that’s a good use of my time to do that.

So anyway, if people are asking relevant questions and you don’t have content already on your site around that, use that as an opportunity. If you do already have content, send it to them and say, “Hey, here’s some free content. If you want more, here’s how you can work with me.”

Romiya, I hope that answers your question.

Thank you so much for reaching out with that question. Many of you now the show is pretty new at this point. So before I started recording I actually went out and solicited questions from people and got a ton of really good questions. So Romiya, thank you so much for sending that one in. I hope it helps you.

Everybody else, I hope it helps you too if you’re struggling with getting out of the friend zone.

So those are my Thursday Thoughts. I hope something I said was helpful. If you have questions about this or you want to ask other questions, reach out to me at askshontavia@gmail.com and you may hear your question on a future episode. Thanks.

Episode 3: Starting your business before you’re ready (transcript)

What’s up y’all. Welcome to The Shontavia Show, where my goal is to help you start a business based on your life’s vision. This ain’t gonna be your daddy’s business advice. I’m laser focused on entrepreneurship in the 21st century, vision and breaking the traditional mold. If you can get with that, you can get with me. Be sure to visit shontavia.com for more episodes, blog posts, and other content. Thank you for listening. The show starts now.

What’s up everybody? I’m Shontavia and this is The Shontavia Show where I want to inspire you to build a business based on the vision you have for your life. Today’s episode is a topic that is near and dear to my heart because this is me all the time, every day. The topic today is starting before you are ready. I love, love, love this topic because I am never ready for anything and I’m starting things all the time.

So we’ll talk about starting before you’re ready, particularly starting your business, starting to build your brand and all of that stuff before you are ready. And without question, this is one of the most common responses I get. One of the most common questions I get about, you know, why do I start now? How do I start when I really don’t know what I’m doing?

And I guess my answer almost always is hardly anybody knows what they’re doing. We’re all out here figuring it out. And I mean obviously nobody wants to be out here, you know, in danger or, or you know about to… Nobody wants to be out here in danger, right? But we don’t have to be in danger just cause you don’t know what you’re doing. I am here to help you. The internet has a wide variety of resources that I am willing to pull together and curate for you. Do all the hard work for you.

So let’s start before we’re ready and I want to give you a couple of examples of when I’ve started before I’m ready. Starting with this literal show that I’m recording right now.

I wanted to wait for so many things to happen before I started doing this show. I wanted to lose some baby weight. I wanted to write my book first. I wanted to get my nails done. I didn’t do that. I didn’t have time this week, but I’m still out here recording this show and providing information because at the end of the day, what is way more important to me than, you know, any of these superficial things, is getting my message out so that I can help people, growing my business so that I can be of service to people like you who are thinking about starting businesses. It is my passion, y’all, to help other people create things that they love, create lives that they love and create businesses that will change the world and help other people.

So silly things like, you know, me having my nails done or not. I just finally said, you know, there will never be a perfect time, so I’m just going to get out there. And do it. Even when I went to law school, I was not ready for law school at all. I actually went to undergrad at Clemson University. I was a bioengineering major, so I got my undergraduate degree in bioengineering. For 21 years of my life, I thought I was going to medical school. Literally my whole life, I thought that was my path to go to medical school, become a medical researcher and do that. My summer before my senior year, I went and worked in a research lab sponsored by the National Science Foundation, where I was doing bioengineering research. And, I loved the people. The work was really interesting. I just could not see myself doing it everyday.

We had to sit through, this was the moment I knew medical research was not for me. We sat through a total knee replacement surgery. If you have never seen one, don’t Google it, don’t go watch on YouTube. They’re the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen in my life. And the sounds and the blood and the smells and like the sawing and hammering and all of that. I knew in that moment, I was not going to medical school. I was not going to be a bioengineer. And this was literally like the summer before my last year in college. So I had to figure out another plan. Did not know what I was gonna do at all. And at the time I had a person, so the person who is now my husband was then just a friend of mine was applying to law school with, one of his line brothers was applying to law school to my, my husband is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Incorporated.

He and his line brother were applying to law school at the same time. And I was looking at them like, Hmm. I mean if they can go to law school, surely that’s something I can try to.

I didn’t even really know anything about law school. I just did not, frankly, have any great options and this was something like my dad had said to me several times, “you know, you ought to think about law school.” I never gave it really any serious consideration. I just didn’t really know what to do next. So I went and bought a book. I did not literally know the difference between, like, a plaintiff and a defendant. I didn’t know any lawyers. I didn’t know anything. I bought a book to study the LSAT, which is the test at least in the U.S. that you take before you go to law school. Didn’t do that great obviously cause I didn’t know anything about law school or about the LSAT or anything else.

But you know by the grace of God I ended up the law school. Absolutely loved it, learned about intellectual property law and, kind of like, the rest is history. So I created a whole career starting before I was ready. Starting before I really knew anything at all. I actually started this business long before I was ready. I’ve talked in other episodes and on my website about how I quit the job I was working at as a lawyer and went to South Africa for almost four months or so. Really did not know what I was going to do when I came back to the U.S. And at least not long term. And one of the things I noticed when I was in South Africa was everywhere I went, I always bought from like the local artisans, the women who were selling stuff on the side of the road, all of these like micro enterprises or micro businesses.

I would always go and patron the entrepreneurs and it really got me to thinking, you know, I really am attracted to people who are out here creating things and not just like the cookie cutter model of going out and buying like really expensive stuff at the mall. And it made me wonder, you know, is there a way that I can work with entrepreneurs?

Is this something that would really interest me and connect like the work I was doing for really big companies with entrepreneurs. And I came back to the U.S. Was still kind of thinking about it and my mother’s friend had an issue that she needed legal help with, completely unrelated to entrepreneurship, completely unrelated to, to intellectual property law or anything. But she needed help and she insisted that I help her. She insisted that I start a business so that I could help her with this specific issue she was having.

And I’m so grateful to her because she was my first client, completely unrelated to the things I’m doing now. But that opportunity gave me the confidence to realize, “Hey, even if I don’t know this stuff, I can figure it out.” I helped her, she got the results she wanted, and we were able to, you know, come to a resolution for the challenge that she was having and the issue she was having.

And that was my first client and it was a client I didn’t even want. And I really didn’t even know anything about that particular type of law. I just got online, got some books, learned enough, read enough called the court enough where I could come to a resolution for her. So I made it happen. I started before I was ready, and I’m not the only one.

So there’s this philosophy, I think that we look at these really, really successful people and think, wow, I could never do that. That person must be brilliant. They must be a genius. They must be so completely focused and blah, blah, blah. And I just have not seen that to be true.

And I think there are enough examples out here now that we know this is not true. If you’ve ever read Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming, there’s a part in the book where she talks about how she has been in all these high level meetings. There’s so many important tables and all of that, and all these, quote, “successful people” that she’s with in some of these spaces, she said they really aren’t that smart. And so I won’t speak to whether or not anybody’s that smart, but what I do know is that I’ve worked with and for enough people who started million and billion dollar enterprises to know that a lot of those people couldn’t even write the word billion in their bio at the time that they were starting.

So take for example, Richard Branson, very successful billionaire, who’s founded all kinds of companies, and one of those companies is Virgin Airlines. And he literally started his airline, lik,e on the fly to get to a woman. So I read this story online and then I saw some videos about it on YouTube.

He tells this story about how when he was in his late twenties, he had a business but nobody knew who he was and he was headed to the Virgin Islands to go meet a girl, a very pretty girl. There was a girl in the Virgin Islands. He was going to travel too. So he was really, you know, determined to figure out a way to get to this girl. And he was at the airport trying to get on the last leg of his flight to the Virgin Islands and it was canceled for some reason. Maybe it was maintenance or weather, who knows.

But it was the final flight of the night and he was so upset that his flight was canceled to get to this girl, he went and chartered a private plane to take him to the Virgin Islands. But, he didn’t have enough money to actually do that. So he got a Blackboard, wrote “Virgin Islands, $29” on it. And then he went to the group of people who’d been on the flight that was canceled and sold the rest of the seats on the plane to those people. So he used that money to charter the flight and then go to the Virgin Islands later that day. And that was the beginning of Virgin Airlines. So I don’t think anybody could have been less prepared to start an airline or to start anything, frankly, than Richard Branson was in that moment.

Virgin Atlantic to that. So Virgin Atlantic is kind of like the larger subsidiary. Virgin Atlantic today had, has revenues of like three, almost $4 billion. And, they just entered into a deal at the end of 2019 worth hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars.

So yes, it is great to have a plan. Y’all know, I believe in vision. Nobody wants to crash and burn, but you don’t have to have everything figured out. As I, I quote Marie Forleo all the time, who is one of, you know, my favorite entrepreneurs probably of all time. And one of the things she says often is “Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.”

So what I’d like to do in this episode of the show was offer you some suggestions on how you can start when you feel like you’re not ready. And there are so many different things you can do to start before you really feel like you’re ready.

So I really want to talk about three things. So the first thing is make it official. So rip the bandaid off, make it official, and by make it official, what I mean is create a separate entity, get a tax ID number and start a bank account.

The second thing is know who you’re trying to reach. So identify your ideal customer.

So then the third thing, create content and sell stuff that addresses your ideal customer. So start before you’re ready by doing those three things.

(1) Make it official, meaning get a business, a tax ID number and a bank account. (2) Second thing, identify your ideal customer. (3) And the third thing, create stuff. Your ideal customer wants. Create content. If you’re not ready to sell anything, but you have to sell something, create content.

So first with making it official, register that LLC, incorporate that corporation. Get that nonprofit with the appropriate office in your state of choice. That will make it official. There is a thing that happens in your mind when you flip that switch and actually become a business owner, especially if you’ve been thinking about it for a while. And this isn’t terribly complicated.

There are a couple of episodes of this show and a couple of articles on my website about choosing business entities, getting tax ID numbers and that kind of thing. I’ll link to those in the show notes.

This stuff is not terribly complicated. In many States, you can register your business, get a tax ID number, and maybe even open a bank account or business bank account on the same day.

I mentioned to you all when I did this earlier in this episode of the show, I had no clue what I was doing. I opened my business bank account with like, I think it was like $25 maybe $50. And at the time that was a stretch for me. So I had just started a new job. So when I came back from South Africa, well, so let me back up a little. When I started practicing law, it was a so-so experience that got really bad really quickly.

I quit that job, left and went to South Africa for three or four months or so, came back to the U.S. with a completely new kind of vision and view on life. And I took a job that was paying me $100,000 less than what I was making, just you know, maybe six or eight months prior.

So to open a new business bank account and to do all this stuff was a stretch for me cause I was making a lot less money. I was, uh, paying rent in a new city cause I actually moved halfway across the country. So I was paying rent in a new city and paying the mortgage on the house I had before–the house I had bought when I was working in this place. I really didn’t like, so $50 and incorporating a business at the time it was like $150 that was a stretch for me.

But when I did those things, when I incorporated the business, well when I registered the LLC with the secretary of state, got my tax ID number and opened a bank account with that $25 or $50, it really did flip a switch for me. It felt good. It felt like, okay well I actually am making some progress. And progress is the goal. Big or small ,progress is what I hope I can help you do through this show and through my work. So that’s the first step. So making it official, just rip the bandaid off and do that.

The second thing, and gosh, this part is so important, know who you are trying to reach. And that ain’t everybody. You do not have to be all things to all people in your business. You have got to get crystal clear on who you want to connect with in your business and who in your business you are going to sell products to.

And even more importantly, not just who this kind of broad target audience is, but who is your ideal customer? Not just the general audience, but the absolute best person out there for you to buy from. You could be trying to sell the most amazing product ever created on this planet, but if you’re trying to sell it to the wrong person, you are not going to sell much of anything at all.

So like with me, the thing I hate most on this, well one of the things I hate most on this planet, are like horror films. Uh, like horror shows, horror games, video games. I don’t like at Halloween even going to those like, you know, Halloween scary houses or whatever, or the pumpkin patch where you walk through or ride through, people jump out at you. That is like not my thing. So I don’t care what you have. I don’t care how great it is. If you are in a horror genre, I’m not buying anything literally nothing from you. So I am the wrong customer for that kind of business.

So when you have to do is find that ideal customer, that ideal client, identify who that person is and create things for them. When you really, really get to know who that target audience and ideal customer are, you can start to create things that will resonate with those people, with that person. And not just generally or more broadly.

So many people know when they start a business they say, Hey, I’m out here to help everybody. Anybody who wants to buy from me. And I sort of you know, understand that. But along those same lines, to start, you just are not going to have the time, capacity, energy, or reach to be able to reach everybody all the time for every specific thing.

So make sure you identify who it is you’re trying to reach, that ideal client, ideal customer you’re trying to reach.

And then the third thing, create content, sell stuff that addresses that ideal customer, using all of the things you worked through in that second part of identifying who that ideal customer ideal client is.

You know who’s really good at this, who’s really good at starting before you’re ready and knowing who that ideal customer is, who the, I mean this just actually happened not too long ago from the time that I’m recording this. Who’s really, really good at it is Disney. Disney is amazing at identifying who their ideal customers are, throwing something out there and figuring out if it was going to work. They did it recently, so in November of 2019 Disney launched Disney Plus, which is that subscription, video on demand streaming service that they came out with. So they’ve got content from Disney, from Pixar, from 20th Century Fox, Star Wars, Marvel, National Geographic, and they launched really just in three places in November of 2019—the U.S. Canada and the Netherlands.

And when it launched, there were so many problems like there were some people couldn’t log in. There were some people who couldn’t access certain content. There were certain streaming services people couldn’t use.

And then when you tried to call and get somebody on the phone, you were left on hold for hours on end. And obviously there were things Disney had not thought about or had not addressed before launching the product.

There also have been tons of complaints once it launched with specific shows. So like The Simpsons being one. So I’m a huge fan of the Simpsons. Lots of people are. And if you try to watch The Simpsons right now in Disney plus you don’t get the full image because of the aspect ratios of the show. So you’re missing out on a lot of the really good visual jokes that The Simpsons is known for, that show is known for. And so Disney has even had to come out again and not just deal with the broader issues, but with The Simpsons in particular and say, “Hey, we’re going to fix this in the next, you know, couple of weeks or months and you’ll have a better quality of program for The Simpsons.”

Even with all of these challenges and all of these problems. Disney got 10 million subscribers on the first day. I didn’t subscribe on the first day, I subscribed a little bit later, and I signed up even knowing all this stuff was happening.

And so if, if Disney can do that and have all of these issues and can still continue to push forward, and who knows how huge Disney plus will grow. I mean, 10 million subscribers on the first day is astronomical compared to what some of their competitors are doing.

But, you can, I can. We can, as entrepreneurs move quickly to start before we’re ready in our businesses and with our brands.

I hope this episode has illustrated for you that you can make starting your business and growing your business and creating a brand a little less scary.

If you still have questions about this, about what’s still scary about starting a business, whether you, you know, feel like you can’t or won’t start before you’re ready, please head over to shontavia.com. Leave a comment, ask a question, engage with me and other entrepreneurs about this episode.

Read more on the topic of starting a business before you’re ready and starting a business in general and you can find other resources there too. Thanks.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Shontavia Show. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to like subscribe and leave a comment wherever you’re listening. You can find me on social media everywhere, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn and wherever else @ShontaviaJEsq.

You can also visit me shontavia.com to find a transcript of this episode along with other show notes. While you’re there, please be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter.

The information shared in this podcast and through my other platforms is designed to educate you about business and entrepreneurship and I love to do this work. While I am a lawyer, though, the information I provide is not legal advice and does not create or constitute an attorney client relationship.

The Shontavia Show is a LVRG Inc. original. The show is recorded on site in South Carolina and produced at Sit N Spin Studio in Greenville, South Carolina. Original music and sound design is by Matt Morgan and Daniel Gregory. Mixing and mastering is by Daniel Gregory. And the video is by GVL Media.

Episode 2: How to put yourself out there (Transcript)

What’s up everybody. I’m Shontavia Johnson and this is The Shontavia Show, where I want to inspire you to build a brand, a business, and a life that you love. Today is Thursday, and what I like to do each Thursday is talk business with you. If you have a nagging question or something you want to know more about, hit me up at askshontavia@gmail.com. I’ll pick a question each week and answer them for you. So I’m excited to start doing this. This is the first question and this question I’m excited about because it’s all about taking that first step of putting yourself out there.

So I’m going to read the question and then just provide some advice from my own perspective about this particular thing. All right, so here’s the question.

Hey Shontavia, my name is Terry and my question is about taking the dive and putting yourself out there. I desperately want to share my knowledge with the world and I really want to create a personal brand. I want to speak, write, consult and do all kinds of stuff, but whenever I actually think about doing it, I get incredibly nervous. I don’t have any certifications yet and while I have a degree, it isn’t really related to the work that I do. In addition, I hear all the negative stuff in my head that I’m not smart enough, connected enough or whatever. I follow your work and you seem pretty confident in what you’re doing. Any advice for a person who’s hesitant to get going? Thanks so much, Terry.

Alright Terry. So I love this question because I struggled with this for so long and still frankly kind of struggle with this. Even this show that I’m doing right now has been like four or five years in the making, and has been four or five years in the making because I was actually pretty nervous to kind of get out there.

And one of the main reasons I was nervous, and it sounds kind of silly now though, I know it’s not silly, was four years ago when I decided I really wanted to do this, I had just given birth to my second child and I was saying, “Oh, there’s no way I could get on camera right now because I’ve gained too much baby weight and I want to wait and lose baby weight before I get out and talk about business and entrepreneurship and building personal brands and that kind of thing.”

So I waited and I waited and I waited, and ultimately I had another baby. And so I waited so long that I ended up waiting, you know, to have another baby, gain more baby weight. And I finally said, you know, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it now, you know, screw the baby weight.

I’ll work on it when where and how I can. I’ll develop a plan of action for that, but I’m going to do this. And so that’s really why I started doing this now. I finally, after so many years, gave myself permission to just get there and try it.

So I’m going to give you a couple of steps.

I’ll give you 3 steps, for things that I actually kind of walked through in my head as I was thinking about now how am I going to actually put myself out there?

(1) So the first thing I just say to you is give yourself grace. Nothing is going to be ideal all the time. It’s certainly not the first time. In my own case, if I fast forward to, you know, like right now I could have had a four year old show, I could have been way far down the path, but I let something like, you know, gaining weight, frankly keep me from moving forward.

And as I was waiting, I was looking around and seeing all these other people develop these really amazing brands and businesses and shows and that kind of thing. And you know the stuff in my brain has not changed at all. And so give yourself some grace. I know that the knowledge in my head is amazing. I know that whatever you have inside of you is amazing. So give yourself permission to take baby steps.

I know that is hard, but you know we have to do the best that we can. I had a mentor one time–I was going through a really difficult period–who told me, you know what? Sometimes, darling, you just have to bloom where you are planted. And I love that because what it kind of said to me was no matter where you are and no matter what’s going on with you at this particular moment, you should bloom where you are planted.

Just do the best work wherever you are and you’ll get to a better place. Those flowers will grow, those seeds will sprout and you’ll continue to move forward. So that’s my first suggestion to you. Give yourself some grace.

(2) My second suggestion is to start with your strengths. So one of the reasons we can be really nervous about putting ourselves out there is we don’t feel like we know enough or have enough experience or whatever the case might be. So I would suggest to you start where you know, you know your stuff. Start where you know your expertise is solid, you know, you know what you’re talking about.

Don’t try to be everything to everybody. You’ve got to exercise some of those expertise muscles, you’ve got to exercise some of that, like putting yourself out there muscles. I don’t know if you want to write or, well you mentioned you want to write, you want to speak, you want to consult, do all those things.

Start with the stuff where you feel really, really comfortable. I bet you know more than you think you do.

(3) And then number three, and you know this is gonna sound kind of harsh, probably, Terry, but you just have to get over it. If you really want to build a personal brand, you just have to rip the bandaid off. Creating a personal brand means you have to have a reputation with other people. So other people are going to have to consume your content. They’re going to have to see you. You’re gonna have to put yourself out there.

And, frankly, I believe you know, if you feel this compelled by something, then it must be part of your purpose to get out there and share it and the things that you desire to build, you probably desire to build them because it is part of your life’s mission. Whether you really know it right now or not.

Yes, it’s probably uncomfortable, but you already have the tools you need to get started. You do. Of course, now you have to protect your mental health and your sanity. When you put yourself out there, yes, you will get some naysayers. Yes, bad things will happen. You’ll get horrible comments. I have gotten some horrible comments, but you know, you can protect yourself from that in some regards. I guarantee you if you have something inside of you that you need to get out, the naysayers or the trolls or the negative vibes, those things will be drowned out by the positive, by those people who really, really need whatever you have inside of you.

So those are my three suggestions to you.

Number one, give yourself grace.

Number two, start with your strengths.

And number three, Terry, you just got to get over it, darling.

I want to see what you have to create and the rest of the world does too.

All right y’all. So those are my Thursday thoughts for Terry and her question about putting yourself out there. I hope something I said today not just helps Terry, but helps those of you who are also struggling with figuring out how to put yourself out there.

If you have questions about this or you want to ask, you know, other questions of me about personal branding, about business, about entrepreneurship, about designing a life that is supported by these things. Reach out to me at askshontavia@gmail.com. Thanks.